How to turn strangers into business associates or friends (in real life)

Picture yourself walking into the room of a large networking event. The high tables are crowded with people in suits or khakis, chatting amicably. They are engrossed in each other’s conversations. You walk in alone.

Photo by Liz Cezat, taken at a CREW Detroit meeting.

How do you feel? Are you confident? Do you feel intimidated? Are you afraid? Are you excited? What are your typical emotions and mindset when you enter a room or a setting where there are many new people?

Aside from your emotions and state of mind … what do you actually do on these occasions? Do you stand back by the wall and just watch for a while … deciding who you might approach? Do you take the nearest seat and hope you become invisible? Do you pray that someone will notice you and invite you into the conversation? Or, do you zero in on one person or a small group and forge ahead with your hand extended and say, “Hi. I’m Larry. Pleased to meet you. Nice jacket you got on.”

About 75% of us are uncomfortable when approaching a new setting where we don’t know anyone. Even if you do know some of the people at the event, it can be hard to get in sync with them, especially if you haven’t seen them in a while.

I’ve learned that groups of three are easiest to join. Groups of two can be intimidating, especially if they know each other well. That said, it doesn't always hold true. I recently made the acquaintance of two gentlemen at an association meeting by asking if I could join their table of two. Just prior to that,  I had been rebuffed from joining another table of three or four women, who were saving seats for their co-workers, who, by the way, never showed up.

Here are some tips on how to break the ice with people that you don’t know that well  and engage them in a conversation.

The first thing to do is to introduce yourself and extend your hand if that’s appropriate. Ask their name and try to remember it.

There are typically four levels of engagement. The first is to make small talk about the weather, traffic, a current event that’s not controversial, or sports. You might say, “The traffic on highway 101 was really tied up on my way to the meeting.”

The second level is to reveal a fact. “I don’t come here often, because I’m usually golfing on Monday nights.”

The third level offers a view or opinion. If the person you met also likes golf, focus on that common interest. “I think the best golf course on this side of town is Blue Bonnet Meadows.”

The fourth level is personal insight. You wouldn’t normally go to this level in a casual conversation. Let’s say you both love golf, you both belong to a league and are enjoying each other’s company. You may then share a personal problem if you’re comfortable doing so. For example, “My eyesight isn’t very good at night, so I don’t like to golf at dusk.”

Conversely, if you just met the person, you wouldn’t start off the conversation by telling him or her that you like to play golf but can’t see the ball at dusk.

You need to have a sense of the person’s interest level before you reveal too much information. It’s like a cascading fountain. One comment leads to another deeper comment. If the response is good, you can stick to that subject or probe deeper. If you’ve probed too deeply, bring it back to a safe level. It’s a dance. But, it’s always more fun when your toes don’t get stepped on.

Ask open-ended questions – where a yes or no won’t do. Example: Rather than saying, “How long have you lived here?” You could ask, “What kind of things do you really like about Detroit?”

Don’t ask too many questions or it will feel like an inquisition. Make sure that you are also sharing some of your experiences and opinions. Yet, don’t be the one doing all the talking. 

One of my worst-case scenarios is attending a chamber of commerce event and running into an insurance salesman or woman where all they want to do is talk about their product. Wouldn’t it be much more productive for them to find out something about you – like ‘Do you prefer city or highway driving?” If you answer, "City driving," they might say, “Most people feel safer driving in the city. Yet, most accidents happen on city streets only 10 miles from a person’s house. I know this because I sell auto insurance for Allstate.” Isn’t this a more interesting segue into their career?

One way to broach a stranger is to ask someone you know for an introduction. If the person who introduces you is socially adept, he or she will stick by your side while you strike up a conversation and graciously bow out so you can talk longer to the person you are meeting.

I was at a party over the weekend where I didn’t know very many people. As people were filling up their plates at a buffet, I was directed to sit at a table for four. No one was sitting there yet. As the first one there, I felt uncomfortable waiting for someone else to sit down.

A friend who I knew casually sat down – she wasn’t prepared to eat yet but said, “I’ll sit with you until someone else comes." And, she started to invite people to sit at my table. That did two things: it put me at ease, knowing that I wouldn’t be eating alone. And, it made other people feel special because they were invited to sit down and didn't have to wander around looking for a table. 

Try to pave the way for others to feel comfortable in social situations and it will help remove some of the nervousness that you feel.

There are plenty of opportunities to practice being social. Start with a hello and a smile. You can talk to the cashier at the grocery store, chat with the person sitting next to you in the waiting room or talk to another dog owner while you’re out walking Fido. I especially like the conversations that I have with people on planes.

These opportunities can open new doors for you. It might just make your day … or your week. And you never know where it might take your business.

Branding + empowered staff can’t be beat

Owner Liz Cezat welcomes you to explore
the potential for branding your company.

If a company’s graphic brand – logo, brochures, website, banners – is sterling yet the customer service is lagging, guess what? That business isn’t going to make it.

In real estate, it may be “location, location, location,” but in company branding, “it’s the people.” Yes, the people. It’s the company’s executives, employees, contractors and consultants who bring the brand to life by offering the customer the best experience when dealing with that company.

Is it rocket science? No. Is it professionalism, kindness and empathy? Yes.

Here’s an example. I recently attended two concerts at the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, better known as the DSO. It’s been an institution in Detroit since 1887 or is it 1914? You decide. 

At Saturday night’s performance of the Pops series, the ushers were friendly and helpful. Could we bring our drinks to our seats? Absolutely. “But only during the Pops, not during the Classical series,” they told us. Good information.

I should mention too that on the way to Orchestra Hall from the parking lot right across the street, managed by my good friends the Aubreys, a parking attendant escorted my daughter and me across Woodward Ave. He also made some small talk, but it was really big talk. He asked if we were mother and daughter. We responded, “Yes.” Then he said, “That’s good that you are having a night out together. Your daughter is keeping you young and you can impart wisdom to her.” Wow! So true.

The concert, conducted by a spirited Steven Reineke with songs by Mike Eldred and Rachel York was so entertaining that when I saw an ad (branding) in Sunday’s Detroit Free Press/Detroit News for an upcoming concert, I thought, “I want to go.”

I went online and discovered that I could pick my seats. Cool. Plus, the cost was very reasonable. I wasn’t sure if my online order went through so I called the box office. There was an annoying long wait, but once I got through, the ticket meister was exceedingly helpful and personable.

Fast forward to Thursday, Feb. 9, 2012. That morning, I received an email from the DSO with an e-newsletter and a link to their program. That same program, in print, was handed to me at the concert that evening.

I attended with my boyfriend, who would much rather be watching football than attending a classical concert. When we arrived at Orchestra Hall, the door was opened by a doorman who smiled and said, “Welcome.”

The tickets from Will Call were delivered promptly by a smiling employee. When we reached the top of the stairs to the mezzanine, another smiling employee greeted us. Hey, I could get used to this.

The concert was excellent. I truly enjoyed myself. And a large part of that experience was that the DSO was so well managed and the people employed there cared so much. That’s the beauty of excellent customer service being part of one’s brand.

How does this tie into my business? We can help you create a definitive brand – through graphics, key messages, engaging content and advice on how to get your staff on board. It’s an extension of what we are already doing with websites, brochures, logos and social media. Let’s start a conversation, call or e-mail today.

Organizing a project

Some people are naturally organized; others, not so much. If you are not naturally inclined to being organized, there are ways to learn this nifty trait that will make you function more efficiently in an office.

Start a filing system – Good office supplies will get you started. Essential items are large accordion files and clear (colored) plastic files with tabs. When you start a new project, take an accordion file, label it, and tuck in some clear files that are different colors. Label them as well. For example, if you’re working on a new website, label the accordion file: New website; the inner colored files could be named: copy; graphics/photos; architecture; memos/budget. Then, when you are digging through the file, you’re not sorting through dozens of papers. You can pull out the plastic file that pertains to your needs and sort only through the papers contained in that file. Always put recent papers in front. It saves you from combing through the file. Plastic inner files, not paper, are key because they slide in and out easily.

Color-coding – I use different color files for different clients. For example, my health care clients are green, legal clients are blue, university clients are orange, etc. Makes it easier to grab the right file.

Stackable magazine files – These rigid plastic containers are about 3 inches wide and 12 inches tall with a V-shape opening so you can easily reach the contents inside. Use labels to name the files and put the label on the front with the opening toward you. Set these within arm’s reach for current projects you are working on. For reference, put them on a bookshelf.  When filing them on a bookcase, turn the opening toward the backboard of the bookcase and label the spine. This allows for a neater appearance. These rigid files are roomy to hold bigger objects, which would weigh down an accordion file. Magazine files can hold DVDs, large reports, background material, and magazines or newsletters that pertain to the project.

Little bins – Small plastic bins are your friends. The 10 x 3-inch baskets are ideal for holding post-it notes, tape, staple remover, letter opener, etc … all the things that you use several times a day.

Paper notebooks – Even though we are in the electronic age and most of my notes go on the computer, I still use notebooks for various clients and for my own business notes. They are a handy way to review client history, record metrics and develop “to do” lists.

Binders – If you do a series of reports, place a year’s worth in a binder. This makes for a handy reference. This works great for chronological material that you keep adding to or research material that you often reference.

Keep your desk clean – I don't recommend in-baskets because they tend to be clutter catchers, but if it works for you, great. I tend to stack similar papers together, e.g. reading material, bills, reports and mail. If you also are the type to stack things, go through those stacks regularly and do one of the following: file the papers, read and toss, or act on them. Done weekly, you’ll be able to keep your clean desk - at least for Monday morning. I once worked at a large hotel and the CEO's desk was perfectly clean except for a pen set. He must have been a master delegator because it looked like he had nothing going on.

What are some of your time-saving tips for getting the job done more efficiently?

Optimize your connections online

Prospecting for clients online
is like blazing a trail.
Photo by Liz Cezat, Zion National Park

If you belong to a professional service group that provides B-to-B services, you know how important it is to build a pipeline of prospective clients.

One of the fastest ways to showcase your talents and get your name known as a professional or head of your firm is through social media. To get the quality prospects that your business deserves, you want to connect with people online who can use your service or otherwise bring you new business.  Act in a manner that shows you’re in it for a great working relationship, not a quick one-time deal.

Many professionals fear making online connections. After all, you don’t really know who you are connecting with, do you? You can see their photo but you aren’t seeing the whole person. You can read their resume on Linked-In or their one-line bio on Twitter, but what aren’t they telling you?

One of the best ways to know who you are dealing with online is to engage with them in various ways:

• Join groups on LinkedIn in your prospect’s industry. If you’re a lawyer and you represent school districts, sign up for the educational groups on Linked In. If you’re lucky, you’ll be one of only a few lawyers seeking prospects in this forum. (Others may not be as savvy as you are.) Then ask questions or answer them. Invite the people who stand out to join your Linked-In associates. Communicate with them when something of shared interest comes up. Let them get to know your personality by talking about your lifestyle interests or joking with them (no emoticons please). If you’re going to be in their town for business, offer to meet them in person.

• If you’re not on Twitter, sign up immediately. You can choose who you want to follow. There will be a wide range of people following you. I follow back only those who post interesting items, are prospects or could become associates. Twitter is a great way to follow news and trends, and learn who’s who in various industries. It also links to many career-building tips, articles and interesting people.

• If you have a Facebook page for business, great. Utilize it to educate your clients and invite their feedback. Track how much new business you gain from this source. If you only have a personal account for family, friends and some associates, use it judiciously for business. A periodic post about your services and achievements is enough to keep your business in the forefront for referrals by your Facebook community. Don’t overuse this or you’ll irk your Facebook friends who often just want to know what’s new with the people they know and like.

• Blog. (That’s both a verb and a noun.) Those who have blogs need to gain visibility for their posts. Announce a new post via Linked-In, Twitter and Facebook (if appropriate). Customize the heading for each venue. Don’t say, “New post. Read all about it.” No one cares unless you give them a reason to care – use an enticing headline they can’t resist clicking on. For Twitter, repost at different times with different headings and see which works best.

Social media can be scary at first but once you get the hang of it and deploy it in your unique style, you will begin to see the benefits of prospecting online. Please share some of your tips here because this list is just the beginning.

Rules of engagement

When hiring a consultant for a project or event, the client may think all they need to define is the deliverable, timeline and price. This is a good start but there’s a lot more that you, the client, should be concerned about when selecting the best consultant.

Here’s a checklist of what to look for or ask:

1. Samples of their work – Even if the samples are not exactly what you are contracting them to do, you will get a sense of their accuracy, creativity, professionalism and attention to detail.
2. Degrees of success  – When looking at their samples, ask what various projects achieved. This will tell you how well the consultant executed a job to attain a desired result for the client. (Don’t expect metrics on everything; feedback from users is also valuable information.)
3. LinkedIn profile – Do they have testimonials that overlap in regard to positive statements about attitude or manner of execution? These are the consultant’s strongest traits. Do they match your needs?
4. Handling details - How will the consultant work with people in your organization? When they send an e-mail, do you expect them to ”cc” three others or just direct the e-mail to you, the hiring client?
5. Responsiveness - Do you expect phone calls returned the same day or is a range of one to three days sufficient? Ask what their normal turnaround time is for these methods of communication.
6. Are they on time? When you are holding a meeting, photo shoot or event, are they on time and ready to start attending to the project or do they often run late and make excuses? (Cut some slack for traffic, bad things happening, or parents of small children. If lateness is a pattern, they don’t value your time or theirs.)
7. Personality - You want to do business with someone who makes your day brighter rather than darkens the doorstep. Be attuned to a positive frame of mind, kindness, a nice smile, a genuine laugh. Choose someone you want to be around.
8. Confidence – Do they seem to like and know what they are doing?
9. Passion - Do they appear to relish the project you are offering? Are they excited about it? Or do they discuss reasons why it won't work? If they are passionate about why it won't work - listen to them; they may know something that you should too.
10. Traits of a mentor – In addition to having the consultant do a project or event or work on retainer, could you learn something from them in terms of work style, attitude, ability to cut through red tape, how to deal with difficult people, how they deal with problems? If they also have these traits, consider it a bonus.

If your consultant meets your expectations for most or all of these “rules of engagement,” you found a great hire. Game on!

When to hire a consultant ... hint: before the candy runs out.

Four clues that reveal when a company's workload is at the breaking point:

Clue #1: Your employees have a startled “deer in the headlights” look when you walk by.

Clue #2: A smattering of “urgent” sticky notes on your computer makes it hard to see the screen.

Clue #3: You are starting to dread Fridays almost as much as Mondays because important projects haven’t been accomplished.

Clue #4: Instead of a candy dish, your office has one filled with aspirin and antacids.

These clues often point to the need for a consultant to keep the work flow manageable and your company's momentum strong. Now let’s delve into some definitive guidelines about when to outsource communication and marketing projects.

• Do you have self-contained projects that aren’t getting done on time?

• Do you produce a quarterly newsletter that only gets out twice a year? (Easy solutions: Outsource every other issue or the entire production, or get assistance with the articles or layout.)

• Did you plan to produce an e-newsletter for customers, prospects or donors, only to find your original content ideas are looking like yesterday’s news and you still haven’t put out an issue?

• Do you have a major presentation coming up? You know you can easily do a portion of the presentation but would really like a seasoned pro to conduct the interviews, obtain new information and package it in a way that informs and inspires the audience to take action. (We excel at creating content for scripts; graphics for presentations; and handouts that reinforce action items. Plus, If we produce your presentation, we can videotape it for YouTube or your company intranet.)

• Fear or uncertainty keeps you from ramping up your presence in social media. (Did you know that YouTube, Linked-In, Twitter, Facebook and other sites as well as blogs rank high in search engines? It’s a powerful way to brand your firm, boost your SEO and make new connections.)

• If you are a professional group without a marketing director, it’s hard for the principals to do all the rainmaking and branding for the firm. While your firm may be super at retaining clients, do you truly have the extra time and marketing expertise that it takes to keep a perpetual pipeline of new business?

If you are unsure what can or should be outsourced, we’re only a phone call or a click away. When contracted for a project, you can expect timely follow-up, excellence in communication materials, cost-effective rates, integrity and adherence to your deadline. And, once again, your staff will be able to eat the candy in your office dish.

Image: Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Time for a grammar tune-up?

I’m dismayed at the number of blogs, news articles and reviews that contain bad grammar. It’s not rocket science, yet many educated people (yes, even those with Master’s degrees and PhDs) often get tangled up in the proper use of the English language. Here is a quick primer:

Their (refers to people) vs. there (refers to a place)

They’re (contraction for “they are”) vs. there, which refers to a place (noted above)

It’s (means “it is”) vs. its,  a pronoun that shows possession (e.g.: its passage)
Proper usage: It’s cold outside. Let’s see if we can find its master. (referring to a dog’s owner)

Here’s a quick test to check if contractions are used correctly. Use the real words to see if the sentence still makes sense. For example, in the above sentence, it doesn’t make sense to say, “it’s master,” which translates to “it is master.”

To clarify, a contraction substitutes an apostrophe (‘) for part of the word. Why? Perhaps to save space. Maybe it was an early adaptation of texting – condensing two words into one.

Moving on then…

To (expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place) vs. too (means excessive: too many, too much). Improper usage: “I had to much to eat.” (first “to” should be “too”; second “to” is correct)

When you see a red or green squiggly line under copy, something is wrong. Do a spell-check in Word or cut and paste the word into Dictionary.com to verify the spelling and/or usage.

Even Hollywood knows the importance of good communication. You may recall a classic line from the cops and robbers’ movie “Heat” set in L.A. in the ‘90s. Police lieutenant Vincent Hanna (played by Al Pacino) was a superb communicator. Early on, he was arguing with his wife Justine, played by the amazing Diane Venora, over how much he worked.*

He intoned, “I say what I mean and do what I say.”

Diane did not exactly melt at the statement but she took notice. Vincent's credibility was ratcheted up among viewers, who could see that he was a man of his word. I know this line wasn’t original to Mr. Pacino but he gets credit for making it stick. He did a great service to English teachers and consultants who work tirelessly to communicate well and help others do so.

If your associates or employees need more in-depth help than this blog can provide, contact me about conducting an on-site seminar. I will discuss common mistakes made in writing; how to shorten and clarify e-mails; the need to proof and reread copy (reports, articles, e-mails) before submitting; and how to become a better communicator through effective writing. Check it out here: http://www.cezatcreative.com/expertise.html (Click on the PDF “presentations” attachment at the bottom of the Expertise page.)

I much prefer writing to editing, but need to share my pet peeves in the hope that these mistakes will never occur again!

Please report back on your success of changing bad grammar as well as glaring errors that you’ve seen. Measurement is a critical component of success.

*This is how I remembered it, without re-watching the movie.

Image: Maggie Smith / FreeDigitalPhotos.net