Open the bag – Get ready to make a sale

I recently attended the 87^th Bi-Annual Book & Author Luncheon in Livonia, MI. I expected it to provide networking opportunities as well as a chance to meet some really cool authors: Bonnie Jo Campbell, Jason Gay, John Katzenbach, David Maraniss and Lily Tuck.

When I walked into the reception room with elegant, cloth-clad tables with coffee, tea and some nibbles, I realized that I was one of the younger ones there. And the group was 90 percent women. I recognized that this multitude of retired women would not be a good networking group – so I disabused myself of that notion.

I did have a pleasant chat with two women who were sitting next to me along a wall lined with chairs. They had been to nearly all of the book and author luncheons in the last 10 to 15 years. They asked what author I had come to see. I mentioned David Maraniss, who wrote “Once in a Great City: A Detroit Story” and Jason Gay, author of “Little Victories: Perfect Rules for Imperfect Living.” I believe they mentioned Lily Tuck as their favorite.

The vast reception room had eight tables set up in a square pattern with two tables on each side. In the center were displays and boxes of books that the authors had written. If you couldn't make a sale here, chances are your book didn't have much of a chance. I had not come intending to buy a book; isn't that what libraries are for? However, when I approached one of the booksellers tables, manned by matronly females and avid book lovers, I was drawn in.

I thought, let me see if any of these are worth buying. As I picked up a book, an 80-year-old woman on the seller's side picked up a purple bag and waited. I fingered through the “Little Victories” book, but stopped myself, knowing that I'm a sucker for these types of books that aren't really a story but more of a compilation of tips for living a good life. Been there. Read that. My life is pretty darn good.

When turning the pages of David's book, I recalled the interviews and reviews that I had read. This seemed like the genuine article – while it wasn't Osh Kosh, it did focus on a period of time in Detroit's history in which Motown, the Civil Rights Movement and a thriving auto industry were at their peak. The contents of the book was intriguing. As I perused the book, the matronly woman holding the purple bag started to open the bag. Consciously or subconsciously, that act – opening the purple bag in anticipation of selling a book – actually triggered me to buy the book.

As a bonus, I got my book signed by David after the luncheon, with the inscription: “To Liz, A fellow Detroiter!”

The event was handled with panache. I was impressed by how much these book-lover book sellers want others to share in the joy of a good book, and also help the author earn money for a craft they do so well.

The lesson this event teaches is that to be a good marketer/seller, you must be eager for the sale. Open the bag - whether it's purple, black, blue or clear - it's only a metaphor. Be patient...let the buyer check out the goods. Explain the product if you are asked. Get excited about selling the item to the buyer – not just for the money taken in but also for the joy of the exchange. In this case, the bookseller gets some green and the buyer gets the goods – all the research, creativity, knowledge and editing that went into writing the book. Selling goods that the buyer desires is the real treasure – no matter what business you are in.

Listening opens the doors to enriched communication

Having a conversation is one of the best ways to connect with others. The person speaking taps into what’s on their mind, turns it into words and phrases, and lets it roll off their tongue – into the air, hovering just outside their lips for someone close by to hear. Sometimes, their words may be projected into a larger space so a group of people can hear. For an even larger audience, a microphone may be used to amplify those words. Once expended, the message is received by the listener.

That’s where things can get messy. Here are some reasons why:

1. I kind of get it, but I don’t hear too well. I smile my biggest smile, like I totally get it. (Unfortunately, the speaker just told me that his beloved Aunt Edna has died.)
2. I am listening but also thinking about the lavish Greek salad with grilled shrimp I’m going to eat for lunch so I nod like I’m listening. Half of me is listening; the other half is already out to lunch.
3. I let their words enter my brain but don't make an effort to fully understand what they are saying. I'm really not interested. (Happens a lot with sales pitches.)
4. Finally they are finished … now it’s my turn to talk – about something totally unrelated to what they said.

What you really want the listener to think and do is the following: I get it. I am in synchrony with you, the speaker, whose words fall like golden petals onto my receptive ears. I even ask a follow-up question about what was said.

Networking provides a good setting to practice
listening skills. Photo by Liz Cezat.

Which of these methods of listening do you normally use? We are all guilty of using poor listening techniques at one time or another. However, to really get the most out of our relationships – whether they are professional, personal or even a casual conversation with someone we’ve never met before – we need to focus on what’s being said. It’s a direct connection when the speaker gets a response to their message … rather than having you, the listener, simply interject what was lingering in your mind as you semi-listened to what they were saying.

It sounds so simple, yet it is hard to do. You don’t just listen with your ears, you also listen with your heart and your mind.

If you listen with your mind, you often have a ready response because you start focusing on that topic and bring to mind all that you already know about it. You prepare to formulate your comments – often as the speaker is still talking. If you know a lot about the topic, you might even interrupt the speaker with your vast knowledge; so excited are you to share and convince.

If you listen with your heart, you let the speaker’s message enter your being. You absorb it. You process it. Only then can you react to it. If you meld it with some touching experience that you’ve had, then you can begin to empathize with the speaker. That connection can be truly profound and even life changing.

Certain messages need to be listened to with the mind only, the heart only or a combination of the two. It’s a skill – one that you can learn to develop. This skill will broaden your capacity for compassion. It will provide greater understanding of problems that – at initial probing – have no solutions. By cultivating an environment of enriched communication, you and the most important people in your life can reach an extraordinarily fertile field of connectivity. When you reach this level of communication, it can be euphoric.

By being fully receptive to what is being said, you are practicing one of the highest forms of communication. This can be a springboard toward reaching greater goals. Imagine how this can improve just one aspect of your life. The best news is that you don’t have to be born with the gift of being a great communicator. You can learn how to do it.

Check out our seminars on better communication, customized to your workplace or association. Call (734) 416-5915 or send an e-mail inquiry from our “Contact us” page.

When to take an online connection to the next level

The advent of social media will transform our world by bringing people and ideas closer than ever. With social media blending into our everyday lives, there are more opportunities to engage with others to help you achieve your goals.

The Internet allows us to connect with hundreds – even thousands – of people with shared interests. When you connect with people on Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, YouTube, Pinterest and other social media, why not take the next step and bring them into your world to do business?

Common reasons to do business with people you meet online:

1.     You like their style or share their interests and want to sit down and talk with them face to face.

2.     You are working on something that could benefit from their input.

3.     You want to buy their product or service but have some questions and want to find out if they are honest.

4.     You want an introduction to someone they know.

Keep in mind that digital tools are conduits for human connection. If you only exchange e-mails, you really don’t know who you are talking to. It’s not until you meet them that you see if they are as genuine in person as they are online. Once you’ve made some good connections online and one of the top four scenarios exist or you have another compelling reason to advance the relationship, plan to talk by phone or Skype.

Photo by Liz Cezat

There’s about 900 million people with a Facebook account. You’re bound to find some people who can become your customers or vendors. If you don’t yet have a business page, get one pronto. Build social media into your routine. Post daily or several times a week on Facebook – keep the info. fresh. I find it tacky to ask for “likes” – shouldn’t it come naturally and genuinely?

As a micro blogging system, Twitter works well for finding like-minded people. Use the search tool to find subjects of interest that relate to your business interests. Search for people to follow based on contents they post or what their bio says. See what they have to say and share your thoughts.

One of the highest compliments on Twitter is to retweet a message that someone else has posted. You are endorsing their post – whether it’s a comment, a link to an article or a blog. That often fortifies the online relationship and can lead to an in-person meeting or discussion by phone.

Try some of these ideas and report back. You don’t have to “like” my Facebook page, but I would love to hear from you in the comments below.  

How to turn strangers into business associates or friends (in real life)

Picture yourself walking into the room of a large networking event. The high tables are crowded with people in suits or khakis, chatting amicably. They are engrossed in each other’s conversations. You walk in alone.

Photo by Liz Cezat, taken at a CREW Detroit meeting.

How do you feel? Are you confident? Do you feel intimidated? Are you afraid? Are you excited? What are your typical emotions and mindset when you enter a room or a setting where there are many new people?

Aside from your emotions and state of mind … what do you actually do on these occasions? Do you stand back by the wall and just watch for a while … deciding who you might approach? Do you take the nearest seat and hope you become invisible? Do you pray that someone will notice you and invite you into the conversation? Or, do you zero in on one person or a small group and forge ahead with your hand extended and say, “Hi. I’m Larry. Pleased to meet you. Nice jacket you got on.”

About 75% of us are uncomfortable when approaching a new setting where we don’t know anyone. Even if you do know some of the people at the event, it can be hard to get in sync with them, especially if you haven’t seen them in a while.

I’ve learned that groups of three are easiest to join. Groups of two can be intimidating, especially if they know each other well. That said, it doesn't always hold true. I recently made the acquaintance of two gentlemen at an association meeting by asking if I could join their table of two. Just prior to that,  I had been rebuffed from joining another table of three or four women, who were saving seats for their co-workers, who, by the way, never showed up.

Here are some tips on how to break the ice with people that you don’t know that well  and engage them in a conversation.

The first thing to do is to introduce yourself and extend your hand if that’s appropriate. Ask their name and try to remember it.

There are typically four levels of engagement. The first is to make small talk about the weather, traffic, a current event that’s not controversial, or sports. You might say, “The traffic on highway 101 was really tied up on my way to the meeting.”

The second level is to reveal a fact. “I don’t come here often, because I’m usually golfing on Monday nights.”

The third level offers a view or opinion. If the person you met also likes golf, focus on that common interest. “I think the best golf course on this side of town is Blue Bonnet Meadows.”

The fourth level is personal insight. You wouldn’t normally go to this level in a casual conversation. Let’s say you both love golf, you both belong to a league and are enjoying each other’s company. You may then share a personal problem if you’re comfortable doing so. For example, “My eyesight isn’t very good at night, so I don’t like to golf at dusk.”

Conversely, if you just met the person, you wouldn’t start off the conversation by telling him or her that you like to play golf but can’t see the ball at dusk.

You need to have a sense of the person’s interest level before you reveal too much information. It’s like a cascading fountain. One comment leads to another deeper comment. If the response is good, you can stick to that subject or probe deeper. If you’ve probed too deeply, bring it back to a safe level. It’s a dance. But, it’s always more fun when your toes don’t get stepped on.

Ask open-ended questions – where a yes or no won’t do. Example: Rather than saying, “How long have you lived here?” You could ask, “What kind of things do you really like about Detroit?”

Don’t ask too many questions or it will feel like an inquisition. Make sure that you are also sharing some of your experiences and opinions. Yet, don’t be the one doing all the talking. 

One of my worst-case scenarios is attending a chamber of commerce event and running into an insurance salesman or woman where all they want to do is talk about their product. Wouldn’t it be much more productive for them to find out something about you – like ‘Do you prefer city or highway driving?” If you answer, "City driving," they might say, “Most people feel safer driving in the city. Yet, most accidents happen on city streets only 10 miles from a person’s house. I know this because I sell auto insurance for Allstate.” Isn’t this a more interesting segue into their career?

One way to broach a stranger is to ask someone you know for an introduction. If the person who introduces you is socially adept, he or she will stick by your side while you strike up a conversation and graciously bow out so you can talk longer to the person you are meeting.

I was at a party over the weekend where I didn’t know very many people. As people were filling up their plates at a buffet, I was directed to sit at a table for four. No one was sitting there yet. As the first one there, I felt uncomfortable waiting for someone else to sit down.

A friend who I knew casually sat down – she wasn’t prepared to eat yet but said, “I’ll sit with you until someone else comes." And, she started to invite people to sit at my table. That did two things: it put me at ease, knowing that I wouldn’t be eating alone. And, it made other people feel special because they were invited to sit down and didn't have to wander around looking for a table. 

Try to pave the way for others to feel comfortable in social situations and it will help remove some of the nervousness that you feel.

There are plenty of opportunities to practice being social. Start with a hello and a smile. You can talk to the cashier at the grocery store, chat with the person sitting next to you in the waiting room or talk to another dog owner while you’re out walking Fido. I especially like the conversations that I have with people on planes.

These opportunities can open new doors for you. It might just make your day … or your week. And you never know where it might take your business.

Optimize your connections online

Prospecting for clients online
is like blazing a trail.
Photo by Liz Cezat, Zion National Park

If you belong to a professional service group that provides B-to-B services, you know how important it is to build a pipeline of prospective clients.

One of the fastest ways to showcase your talents and get your name known as a professional or head of your firm is through social media. To get the quality prospects that your business deserves, you want to connect with people online who can use your service or otherwise bring you new business.  Act in a manner that shows you’re in it for a great working relationship, not a quick one-time deal.

Many professionals fear making online connections. After all, you don’t really know who you are connecting with, do you? You can see their photo but you aren’t seeing the whole person. You can read their resume on Linked-In or their one-line bio on Twitter, but what aren’t they telling you?

One of the best ways to know who you are dealing with online is to engage with them in various ways:

• Join groups on LinkedIn in your prospect’s industry. If you’re a lawyer and you represent school districts, sign up for the educational groups on Linked In. If you’re lucky, you’ll be one of only a few lawyers seeking prospects in this forum. (Others may not be as savvy as you are.) Then ask questions or answer them. Invite the people who stand out to join your Linked-In associates. Communicate with them when something of shared interest comes up. Let them get to know your personality by talking about your lifestyle interests or joking with them (no emoticons please). If you’re going to be in their town for business, offer to meet them in person.

• If you’re not on Twitter, sign up immediately. You can choose who you want to follow. There will be a wide range of people following you. I follow back only those who post interesting items, are prospects or could become associates. Twitter is a great way to follow news and trends, and learn who’s who in various industries. It also links to many career-building tips, articles and interesting people.

• If you have a Facebook page for business, great. Utilize it to educate your clients and invite their feedback. Track how much new business you gain from this source. If you only have a personal account for family, friends and some associates, use it judiciously for business. A periodic post about your services and achievements is enough to keep your business in the forefront for referrals by your Facebook community. Don’t overuse this or you’ll irk your Facebook friends who often just want to know what’s new with the people they know and like.

• Blog. (That’s both a verb and a noun.) Those who have blogs need to gain visibility for their posts. Announce a new post via Linked-In, Twitter and Facebook (if appropriate). Customize the heading for each venue. Don’t say, “New post. Read all about it.” No one cares unless you give them a reason to care – use an enticing headline they can’t resist clicking on. For Twitter, repost at different times with different headings and see which works best.

Social media can be scary at first but once you get the hang of it and deploy it in your unique style, you will begin to see the benefits of prospecting online. Please share some of your tips here because this list is just the beginning.